Rob Hanson photo |
Dust and rust and cobwebs sewn
Antique phone molds workshop wall
I still work and want to talk
But techno growth stole my soul
Hidden deep in cellar dank
Missing sheep in old folks home
I still breathe and want to talk
Lay alone in darkened room
Stray light beams sneak in each day
I still hope and want to play
But grandkids use new iPods
Dust and rust and cobwebs sewn
Antique phones wear mold that's grown
I still breathe and beg to try
But new ring tones let me die
Buried deep in cellar’s cry
Missing sheep in old folk’s home
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For One Shot Poetry Sunday Photo and Poetry Pantry #53
10 comments:
Great ringing, echoing effect... fits the subject perfectly. Great window into inevitable obsolescence and change from many perspectives.
love how you break each stanza with a psuedo refrain...time marks one and we either march with it or fall by the side of the road...
This is beautiful, nostalgic. Love the refrain, with the plea, reaching out ("I still breathe.. I still hope..."). A lonely place to wait, "in old folk's home". You evoke emotion well in this piece.
you have given this old telephone a personality and let us feel the loneliness and desperation...great metaphor henry
Great personification. I really like that the phone has to talk for itself, since everyone else spurns it. And of course, the human parallel, though I know a lot of missing sheep that have no trouble speaking pretty continuously, thanks to the internet. ;_)
Love the personification and the refrain. this poem brings such a clear personality to an object no longer in use -- lost in time.
Beautiful!
Adored the rhythm and the repeating refrain here Henry, Brilliant and clever poem echoing of long dead voices and hopes and fears, and decay of the elderly. Well done indeed!
Giving the phone a voice was brilliant. The repetition of words and phrases resonates beautifully.
Ah, Henry, there have been so many changes in phones over our lifetime.
Oh this is heartwrenching Henry, I guess because it is all too true. Great response to the prompt!
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