Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Proofs of Life

Charles Vest


Stardust serpents shy from light
Sacred etches spark old fright
Stories tangled in temple vines
Gossamer clouds slit moon sky
Threads of bone limp from sight
Proofs of life fade in night

Stardust serpents spark old fright
Sacred etches shy from light
Stories tangled slit moon sky
Gossamer clouds in temple vines
Threads of bone fade in night
Proofs of life limp from sight

For Wordle 9

13 comments:

margoroby said...

I like what you have done, Henry. It's intriguing, the result and makes me want to go play with several poems to see the effect. Love 'stardust serpents' and 'threads of bone'.

margo

Mike Patrick said...

This is an intriguing form, Henry. Did it fall into place, or is the result of endless editing. Whatever it is, I really like it. Like the poem too. Great use of the prompt.

Francis Scudellari said...

The lines have the feel of an incantation, and I feel under their spell reading them.

Susannah said...

I agree with Francis - they do have the feel of an incantation. A real feeling of rhythm, as though they could be spoken in time to a softly beatem drum. Nice work.

donnakiser said...

Very bewitching. I like the "sacred etches", gives me an image of ancient markings on the "temple vines". Truly enchanting.

But by far, I LOVE the tree pic. I want to live there.

dk

brenda w said...

I love this Henry. Like the others said, there is a spell that we fall under aas we read it...
Well done. And yes, the picture is great. So glad you're along for the whirl.

Fiducia said...

Love the rhythm and creativity here!
Great one...especially; Proofs of life limp from sight/fade from night..
At some places, it sounds eerie while some others lead you to ecstasy! Goosebumps as each line fades one after the other..

daydreamertoo.com said...

Sounds like Majick is afoot here.
All you need is a witches black pot and a cackle to make it even more creepy...LOL
Lovely! brrrrr Shivers!

daydreamertoo.com said...

Sounds like Majick is afoot here.
All you need is a witches black pot and a cackle to make it even more creepy...LOL
Lovely! brrrrr Shivers!

Aynsley said...

Another stunning write...
Truly inspiring.
Reminds me of mid evil times.

Elizabeth said...

Very evocative and it does have that chant of an incatation. Sounds quite striking if whispered,

Elizabeth

Natasha said...

Henry, I see this just simply flowing from your pen, as though it has been begging release. This is a timeless, classic write, that could stand beside many of my favorites, burning brighter than most! I am an addict of rhyme, rhythm, and fantasy, so this was right up my ally. I have been whisked away to a beautiful land of my imaginings, inspired by your words.

Mr. Walker said...

Henry, I like "stardust serpents" and how you presented them differently in each stanza, how they both shy and spark.

Richard

I'm Just a Man (Recording Experiment ... I can't sing)

I am in the mood to change my tree to a cubic version.